WHAT IF YOUR CHILD WANTS TO GO/RETURN TO SCHOOL
We have always had some child-led decisions in our house and the children's happiness is of paramount importance to the smooth running serenity of our home. So you can imagine my alarm when my 12 year old son came to me and said that he was going to high school next year and there was nothing I could say to change his mind. I know my son well enough to know that when he makes up his mind there is no way anyone can change it. My husband suggested that we let him try it as being the only male at home with three females as a boy going into puberty was going to be challenging for him. I had grave reservations and anxiety about him going to high school but now that we are 20 months into it I have to admit that he made the right decision for him at that time. He now has a huge network of friends - children that I like who come from lovely families - and is excelling in many areas of the curriculum that I could never have offered him at home. At the beginning of this year when he had a doctor's appointment for his broken arm on a school day we didn't get home until 2pm but he still changed into his uniform and went to school, not wanting to miss any more than he had to. When he has the occasional down day I beg him to leave school and let me homeschool him again but he always says, quite earnestly and tenderly "Mum, you know that is never going to happen." I know I'm playing devil's advocate with him but I just can't resist. What I have is a boy who is dedicated and committed to following through on his decision and is also a self-starter who is self-motivated. I really like those qualities in a person.
With my daughter it was a completely different story; even though she was very happy being homeschooled as the years went on she became more and more disillusioned due to not being able to cope with pressures of studying high school at home on her own. Going to high school was a gradual decision she made over the course of several months because she knew she wanted to complete her VCE (and do excellently at it) and that she would have more options/electives at school than at the AYCE program, which she had been doing since year seven. She also plans on going to University. Going off to high school this term was a complete culture shock for her but already she has made new friends and has adjusted quite well.
I am so glad I had that time at home with my children; my younger children were able to just play for the most part of three years. There are families that will never allow their child to attend school and that's their decision. I understand - home education is not just an alternative education philosophy but a lifestyle choice, a natural extension of attachment parenting and a movement; we want to hold onto that. Yet, my children have opinions, minds and rights of their own; it's a free country and we live in a democratic society. Also, I resist the temptation to put my own experience of high school onto my children - they are individuals in their own right and will almost certainly have a positive school experience. If they do have problems though, or if they change their minds, I will still be here eagerly asking them to homeschool again and letting them know that through creative thinking there are always alternatives and solutions.
This week we had the dreaded parent teacher interviews. I had some anxiety about that because my son is a tactile learner and a classroom environment does not suit him. But, much to my relief, he is doing very well. I had to giggle to myself when my daughter's English teacher (who is also a VCE psychology teacher) seemed so taken off guard when I told her that she had been homeschooled for the last 5 years. She said she would never have known that because "socially she's doing very well." I gave her my stock standard answer, "guess what, she has always had a very active social life, who would have thought!!" SURPRISE teacher!
